Commandon't!

The latest movie to get shoved into the Hollywood remake meat grinder is the 1985 Arnold Schwarzenegger classic Commando. This movie holds a special place in my heart. I have seen it at least twice a year since I was 10. If I'm flipping through channels and this movie is on I will stop and watch it no matter how far along it is. This travesty will be written/directed by David Ayer whose past work includes Street Kings, Harsh Times and Training Day. According to the article by  deadline.com Ayer will be making a more realistic version.

"Ayer's protagonist will be less brawny, but more skilled in covert tactics and weaponry."

You might as well call it Taken 2: electric boogaloo or the Bourne Tortada. Commando is the epitome of 80s action cinema, big muscles, big guns, big explosions, Rae Dawn Chong, Cheezy villains(The main guy looks like an overweight Freddy Mercury) and hilarious one liners. Why even use the Commando name? So far, this sounds like the opposite of Commando. I can already see it  PG13, CGI blood and they'll cast Adrien Brody to replace Arnold like they are doing in Predators.WTF.

Remakes?

I don't think a remake really ruins the original and some remakes are actually OK. Occasionally many pop up that have me asking "why?". Enough so that I will start doing (hopefully)weekly remake posts.

This week:The Toxic Avenger(1984)

Why this is a bad? Just watch the trailer...



 There is no way this can go well. The original is an awesome example of low budget filmaking and 80s cheez. Then there is this:

"The group(Endemol, who bought the rights to everything Toxic Avenger) intends to turn Toxie into a green superhero for these environmentally conscious times."

 Why not just make a Captain planet movie?

"The remake will be mounted as a family friendly PG-13 action comedy akin to The Mask..."

Seriously? Has anyone seen the movie? Blood, boobs, more blood, animal cruelty, vehicular homicide of a child, nazis, castration.

The only upside is that Lloyd Kaufman(President, Troma Entertainment, inc. and Creator of the Toxic Avenger) got paid, which means he can keep cranking out movies for Troma films.


Original article from deadline.com
Lloyds response to haters
troma.com

more remake news:
Fright Night